Kibbee linked to an essay by Paul Graham called Why Nerds are Unpopular. Paul wrote an article a while back called The Hundred-Year Language that was also interesting. He seems to write mostly about programming but also goes into other topics in his essays.

First off, I have to be honest about my nerd status. Life at the small high school I spent the majority of my time at doesn't sound as bad as the situation he describes in suburbia. The reason, I think, is that people have much less of a chance of being typecasted at a small high school because they could do lots of different things. It wasn't that difficult to make the sports teams and it was easy to get to know everyone in your grade and people in many of the other grades.

Small towns, as opposed to suburban neighborhoods, are also more tightly knit with long-standing family histories. It isn't uncommon to go to high school with first and second cousins and other distant relatives. The community is much stronger and therefore the social consquence/stigma of misbehaviour/bullying is there. In general the fact that the community exists keeps everyone in line. Suburban neighborhoods lack this sense of community.

At a larger suburban high school, like the one I went to in grade nine with almost 2000 students, the situation is much different. People played one sport, or were a member of one school club or band and hung out with a small group of people. It was strangely different and I'm very glad I didn't have to go through that all of the way through high school. So in a lot of ways I was lucky to have moved when I did.

Before and during my transition to the smaller high school I realised that education and marks weren't everything I was looking for. To be honest, I was a nerd then, however during grade 8 I turned down a chance to take grade 9 math in high school because I didn't want to miss gym, of all things. To an adult that might seem like an irrational and unambitious decision but it's probably one of the best I've ever made. I played sports since grade 6 and in high school I played soccer, football and basketball. I played all of them on an average level but it was the sport, teamwork, the challenge and comraderie that was most important in all of that. The fact that nerds miss out on all of these aspects of sport is a great loss.

Don't worry, I'm getting to a point here. Now as an engineer I'm not going to start an argument with philosophy majors, I just want to give my opinion and my perspective. Paul's perspective is interesting because most of us never had to go through it, thank goodness. We can all give our own sides to this story here and share insight.

The general sentiment of the essay is a reassurance to nerds on one hand and a damning/resentfulness of the "system" on the other. I see this as a typical minority stance and I give my sympathy, given I was a nerd in the past. The reality is that the system won't change for the sake of minority groups because it just doesn't have the resources to do it, especially in a government-funded area like education. Unless the problems he describes start affecting more people they will not be addressed. This is a sad but cheap way to keep the system moving.

That said, I don't see vigorous social climbing as an aberration only occuring in high school or in extreme circumstances (he compares with prison a lot). Social skills are used in almost every aspect of human life. While nerds in high school are more concerned about being smart, they should realise that being an outcast is actually quite counterproductive. It's much easier to blend in than be an outcast. Therefore some minor effort to fit in should be done at the expense of bowing to the system. If you think about it you're already bowing to the system in other ways to get to university anyway. (right, why don't I just sell my soul to Satan while I'm at it?. I agree, this snowballs)

Some people's hatred for The System precludes them from even attempting to fit in. But they have to realise the consequence of their intentional rebellion. It seems as though they don't and the rebellion is more knee-jerk logical choice. They see the high school social scene as elaborate and unnecessary but it's a preparation for the harsh real world where not everyone is your buddy, not some strange detour.

Nerds' ignorance of the social scene hurts them the most. They see the fringe of it, they are not inside of it. So they don't see the benefits of it they just see the negativity. It's no small mystery why they don't want to try to fit in with the same bullies they are making fun of them but the ironic thing is that if they tried, they could. High school kids have pretty short memories from one year to the next.

When I say social skills there are many aspects to this. I'm not just talking about being able to communicate but also to fit in in general. The way you walk, dress, act, interact, etc. Humans are tribal, right? Maybe that's where this quite natural and childish behaviour to single out people comes from. In order to prevent being singled out you conform and become part of the tribe. So it's self-reinforcing.

I don't see adult life being much different from high school life. How could it be? People don't magically change into adults after high school. Maturation is a slow process of convincing yourself you were wrong. College students are still fairly immature (many high school traits are transfered) they are just divided into groups of similar social stature, where the conflicts between groups aren't as commonplace.

The logical way to look at it is to say that all of the smart kids are now rich, successful adults, so we're in control now! But no, I wouldn't say that's what happens. Nerds don't get control and power because they have no control over people. They have no social skills, no charisma because these are learnt skills they don't have practise with. They may not see the point of wearing a business suit outside of protocol, for example. This is what successful business leaders are made of. This is what politicians are made of. Where are these business leaders made? In the social scene and parties of high school and college and after. Where do they play their game now? In an even bigger, but equally frustrating, System.

So the advice and condolence that Paul gives is unfortunate. Telling nerds that once they get through high school everything will be OK is not a solution to their plight. In my opinion nerds are missing out on other things besides the pursuits of intelligence. An effort to integrate yourself socially, rather than just accept that people will make fun of you because they are immature is more proactive approach. My recommendation: learn a sport and get good at it, hack your body/appearance along with expanding your mind and integrate with a social scene. These are challenging things too, sometimes even harder. Being well-rounded is much more important to your physical and mental health.